Posts Tagged Crashing
Mahler adds a false drama to my winter afternoon.
I’m the bear who’s been torn to bits by the shotgun,
but I’m not. I’m the silent mouse, daintily crawling,
searching for approval, strangled by all of the thorns
of ice falling with aggression from the moldy brick
buildings. The scampering of the Mahler violins
makes me jump on top of the stale structures, and
the horns, the most powerful horns with the trombones,
they urge me to tear into the buildings with giant claws
made from plastic straws which never transport
the vanilla shake that helps fix my terrible moods,
but the buildings smash back at me at impossible
diagonal angles, shrinking me, forcing me to realize
who or what it is that I am. The man in the cafeteria
Speaks on the phone as if with his lover, and he’s
terribly ugly, but he creates life worth living, while I
pull the shards of ice out of my body, while Mahler’s lush,
glazed violins sing of unspeakably beautiful children, and
just before the children die, hope bubbles in my silent zones,
Trashed again by a man who is really a mouse, a parasite.
The wing slices ninety degrees toward the water.
Sirens and great fear create electrical, spasmodic chaos.
Staying above the river, seeing each bubble of detail,
Pilot carves and furiously brings the plane level
In time to prevent melt-down with an old concrete bridge.
Today, the exact same feel, a gust of life with the look in the mirror.
Today, life might be a go, with brain suddenly light,
Doubt is ensconced. Search for work clothes begins.
Pilot loses the plane again, twisting,
Plunges into too-shallow icy water.
No survival this time.
That is the truth,
feeding on millions of replays.
But occasionally, there is an interruption, a tiny bubble,
A sprinkle of the stillness and weightless shivering of total joy.