Archive for September 10th, 2013
Today, While They Applaud Themselves
Anti-suicide pro-
grams have a way
of inspiring
me to finally
commit suicide,
so I need to stay
away, left puzzl-
ing on why they
must aggressively
market con-
tinuing
with this
life, remind-
ing me of
my slimy
despair.
Wanderings with the Hard Core
I wonder at why I should feel
so much pain, the purest emotional
pain, knowing nothing is personal,
my emotions override, and seem
to insist that all of the people
treat me gently, stop these personal
bombs, intentional or not, treat
me gently, I plead, blind for tears
that I’ve learned I must control
but have never controlled, learning
that regardless of personal shame
flowing from these outer indicators
of the insanity of a hopeless being,
they will despise me for my weakness,
and I wonder why on some occasions
I find gentle people who treat others
kindly, but these do not stay in my
life, for god seems to laugh at me
when god treats me to all of the tough
ones as I sit here terminally beaten, gone.
This poem is cheesy but it is the truth.
I wonder at why I am so damned cheesy,
but I remember it all comes from this
broken human structure I’m bound by.
My eyes are tired. They hurt.
.
Air Conditioning, Granite, and Shoddy Walls
When I think of missions,
I’ve failed them all,
but here I am today; can I
do something for the good?
The music plods, and when music
plods, it’s always a funeral march.
I have that fear that pinches
heart and lungs, tells me to grasp.
The egos scattered through my history
frown at me with intricate geometric
shapes that mimic the smallness
of my mind, that howl and dismiss my soul.
stillfugue 