choosing where my mind aims
losing light
“Too fucked up to care anymore.”
finding tedium of scales
coming back to art
speaking death but unification
being told I’m worthless and buried
in sleep
knowing instead, I’m diseased
Broken
Shattered
Irreparable
maybe wishing
Not asleep
coming back to music
why don’t you choose happy music
why not music that pampers
my soul has too many bandages
looking inward builds more disease
but outward tinkles with no substance
choosing targets
obligated to fabricate smiles
fake they all are
False
why do we forgive the pretensions
we drive through repetitive forests
powerful boats full of empty bowls
antiques stained with dried oatmeal
chips of personality
Torn
by two poles
life having constructed the magnificent gift
perpetual pain is unendurable when awake
my mind lies to me
I can’t force it to wipe away
all of the evil
all of the dirty germs
.
stillfugue 
#1 by clinock on May 17, 2013 - 9:24 pm
Ouch – big hug to you Carl…
#2 by Carl on May 26, 2013 - 10:09 am
Thank you for your visit.
#3 by Carl D'Agostino on May 18, 2013 - 9:25 am
my mind lies to me
So does my heart but my gut is never wrong
#4 by Carl on May 26, 2013 - 10:10 am
My gut doesn’t do enough of the talking.
#5 by joseasanoj on May 21, 2013 - 12:21 pm
Hi, very nice blog, really loved it.
Peace and Love, Sanoj
#6 by Carl on May 26, 2013 - 10:10 am
Thank you for your comment, Sanoj
#7 by clawfish on May 22, 2013 - 11:27 pm
raw beauty in those words
#8 by Carl on May 26, 2013 - 10:10 am
Thank you for your visit, and thank you for the kind words.