I know about rounding up
courage; not bragging, but
I stick sharp fingers in plaster of
dissonant accidents, disliked
by all who know. I search for
purposeful dissonance, stomp
feet in defiance, move my head,
make my eyes wide and terrified,
petrified to be moving still, wanting
not to survive, screaming, WHAT
IS WRONG WITH ME? Knowing
chance is all gone, shaking my
head at the madness, my own with
all the others, as my hands freeze
in the plaster, choking life out of
me, not fast enough; oh, why
do I live to tell you this shit?.
-
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stillfugue 
#1 by adamfromnorway on May 13, 2013 - 1:23 pm
Ha! Sound very familiar to me … like my entire incarnation. But there are both times when it feels like I am punching into a pillow with no resistance or response; and other times (perhaps fleeting moments in the larger perspective) where things seem to go as a well-oiled machine, aspiring towards a better and fantasy-filled consciousness and existence. Perhaps that is what Life on this planet is really all about … delighting in those isolated moments/days/weeks, and balancing the chronic depression and nihilism with the long-awaited “vacations in the Sun”?
#2 by Carl on May 13, 2013 - 3:59 pm
Thank you for your visit and your comment. Those fleeting moments and the occasional kindness of human beings keep us going, right. It might be a trick, but it keeps us going.
#3 by Hudson Howl on May 13, 2013 - 9:49 pm
What only one tag, now am lost in the wilderness.
Courage is highly over rated, fear now that’s a prod.
#4 by Carl on May 15, 2013 - 3:41 pm
Thank you for your comment. Don’t get lost in my wilderness!
#5 by clinock on May 14, 2013 - 2:15 am
Following your journey – one step behind – covering your back…
#6 by Carl on May 15, 2013 - 3:43 pm
Thank you for your visit, John. I’m grateful.