I wish I could tell you all,
and fill this tiny screen, say
everything, leave it right here
on this screen, say it all, and then
never come back, sit on my porch,
strumming a broken guitar,
blowing on a wilted clarinet,
smoking a cheap pipe, never
coming back to your world,
telling you about all there is
on this screen, maybe fill the
screen, but tell you everything
and never come back, walk into
the front of a cement truck doing
seventy, never coming back,
fulfilled that all has been told,
knowing there is nothing left
inside me so I can go meet
that Mac, go away quickly
without a peep of noise, being
empty, never to come back.
Take away the severity
of despair, fill my tank
with the end, shut me down
forever. Let me rest, let
me loose from this agony.
.
stillfugue 
#1 by Shawn on May 1, 2013 - 4:13 pm
I hope gentleness finds you today
if only for a few moments.
I have deeply enjoyed your words.
They gave me a moment of connection – now back to work.
#2 by Carl on May 1, 2013 - 9:06 pm
Thank you again for your kind words. I appreciate it.
#3 by Shawn on May 1, 2013 - 9:30 pm
Thank you for your writing!
#4 by claudia on May 2, 2013 - 1:55 pm
sit on my porch,
strumming a broken guitar…sounds like home to me.. even though i don’t have a porch…smiles
#5 by Carl on May 13, 2013 - 1:15 pm
Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it.
#6 by Hudson Howl on May 2, 2013 - 10:08 pm
Everyday I drive a road, from the village where I live into the nearby town. There are twenty houses along it’s 5.8km length. In the past year plus a few months, there has been three suicides. So I wonder is every road out there like the road I travel?
All were unknown to me on a personal level. Yes I knew who they were or knew a relative of theirs. I seen them all before. You know, cutting their grass, raking leaves, setting in a lawn chair under a shade tree on a hot summer Sunday. Now I wonder whose next. As I doubt there are limits in place for any given road.
#7 by Carl on May 13, 2013 - 1:18 pm
Thank you, Hudson. Wow. I can’t stop thinking about what you told me. I want to go out and fix my road, but I cannot even fix myself.
#8 by Carl D'Agostino on May 3, 2013 - 7:06 pm
strumming a broken guitar
and playing solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty one ?
#9 by Carl on May 13, 2013 - 1:19 pm
Usually, I am only dealing with half of a deck, never 51.
#10 by clinock on May 5, 2013 - 1:21 am
You are loved Carl…your words touch hearts and your struggles are known – keep on truckin…
#11 by Carl on May 13, 2013 - 1:20 pm
Thank you, John. It takes more and more guts to come here lately, but you help tremendously.