I immerse a gray, nearly-dead mind
in a spiritual reading, searching for,
longing to create a space of goodness
in my soul, which itself seems to drip
a blue fungal trail, spitting like a baby’s
room which had been prepared too
carefully, and I learn that we inevitably
view ourselves as far bigger beings
than we are, more important, even
more critical, but mostly bigger. And
how could we step aside and see our
part in the universe? So this grows
badly as I think of the genius writing
from the science guy who writes beautiful
fiction – he tells me that he wants
to feel more important than that part
that is a millionth of man’s concept
of the tiddly building block, the atom.
I make three steps in my hallway,
feeling my flesh disappear, my bones
are the tooth picks of an empty,
meaningless being who is so tiny,
his brain and his vocal chords
should be eradicated forever.
.
stillfugue 
#1 by Hudson Howl on January 24, 2013 - 9:20 pm
The lens we use to see and feel ourselves is not fixed. often out of focus with a trillion floaters passing by. I see my ‘self’ as smaller inwardly, where as most see me as larger when viewing externally. Carl this one hit home for me -it crackled and popped, you played it well.
#2 by Carl on January 26, 2013 - 8:10 pm
I feel very lucky you read the poem and very lucky it hit home. Thank you for commenting.
#3 by Hawkruh on January 24, 2013 - 9:28 pm
We are but specs, whispers of vague ideas, in a never ending vastness of universes.
#4 by Carl on January 26, 2013 - 8:10 pm
Ah, thank you for commenting. Your comment is far more than a spec for me!
#5 by clinock on January 24, 2013 - 11:05 pm
…”my bones
are the tooth picks of an empty,
meaningless being who is so tiny,
his brain and his vocal chords
should be eradicated forever.”
Yet this being writes these searching, deep and glorious words! And even if he didn’t does he deserve to be eradicated? Even the ant, the flies with green wings that barely cover a pin head and the microbe are all holy and significant to who we are…
#6 by Carl on January 26, 2013 - 8:12 pm
Your words are comforting and significant to me. I’m thankful for your reading and thankful for your comment!
#7 by Carl D'Agostino on February 18, 2013 - 1:08 pm
We may be specks but we are bigger than atoms and have considerable ability to effect the course of this vast universe. In 33 years as a classroom teacher of kids in their late teens, I know I did. Another example is that just being a fairly decent parent these days is more formidable than any of the processes of physical science.
#8 by Carl on February 18, 2013 - 9:37 pm
You are right, and being a parent is the most challenging and most rewarding. You helped me focus on that and it was a good experience.