I say ghosts, but the spectators parade by
in quick and evil flourishes and flashes with
primary colors and terse hearts, perhaps haters,
but the term rips at my soul because there
are not any haters. No, there are only those
who are not comfortable in their fur, in their slinky
waistcoats, but it says so much about me that
I worry later about what they think when I know not
who they are, and I’ve noticed that some days
I am in full command, a confidence dances around
on top of my head as if I have a beautiful hat with
feathers which bend with my heart as it heats
up with the tar on Main Street, and then there
are the other days, like today, when the ghosts
float by too quickly for me to be greeted or to
greet and my heart flutters with a mind that
cannot sit on anything but fills with tears and
terrible wounds that float with a liquidy aplomb
like tomato soup.
.
stillfugue 
#1 by Hudson Howl on July 10, 2012 - 11:23 pm
I guess in the end we shouldn’t give a tinker’s dam; our perception of others or their perception of us matters not. As it really does not add to our life in any positive way. Maybe we would feel better of ourselves if we were more interested with the inner appearance of others. Know someone for whom they are. More beneficial I think? The ghosts would fade. Just a dream, a thought. It’s okay to have hope, is it not?
#2 by Hudson Howl on July 11, 2012 - 8:22 pm
I drifted back to read again ‘People Blur By Without Me’. For me, a significant piece. Often I grapple, whole being in room full of people an still feeling very much alone and not part of it at all. For myself am okay with it, frankly am rather proud of it. A personal revolt to some extent. And feel no guilt for not conforming. Where as I did in my teens.
Also read my earlier comment. Sorry, it is some what of a dumb ass comment. As it ping’d off in another direction from your words. Oh well, I shouldn’t be concerned. Should I?
#3 by Carl on July 11, 2012 - 10:21 pm
I greatly appreciate your comments. You are kind to read and your reflections help me to understand what I’m doing and how I’m doing it if that makes sense. I completely identify with feeling alone in a room full of people and I’m not as comfortable with it. In this case, it was being alone in the room literally and watching all of the happy buzz going by the room and around the room.
#4 by clinock on July 11, 2012 - 2:25 am
Powerful words from you as always – thank you for your support of art rat cafe…
#5 by Carl on July 11, 2012 - 10:22 pm
Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate your kind words!
#6 by Evelyn on July 14, 2012 - 8:53 pm
This is like a symphony, its so well crafted. it flows like classical music.
#7 by Carl on July 15, 2012 - 5:48 pm
Thank you for your comment – I don’t know how I could have done what you describe, but I feel lucky.