NaNo Etude 5 – It Ended Long, Long Ago

One day Freddy realized that his entire unconscious undertow was against the world, and he thought, yes, all the way against the world. If Freddy thought too long and hard about his unconscious desires and judgments, he would need to be locked up, but he couldn’t stop. A chocolate creme Oreo and he was never going to stop now.

The water under the sharp white bridge was entirely calm even when people dove into it.

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  1. #1 by Indigo Spider on October 6, 2011 - 7:14 pm

    I used to live in Seattle and there is a bridge that crosses Deception Pass. It is very high over the waters, higher than average. There is a beautiful view from the bridge out across the waters and you can walk as well as drive across. I am terribly afraid of heights, stomach does flips from even a simple step-ladder, but there was this strange pull when I would walk a bit across the bridge. The waters below are not calm, but I often felt this pull, wondering, just once, what would it be like to dive off the bridge into the waters below. It frightened me even more because it felt so strong, to want to jump off that bridge, that I could never walk very far. Someone once said that the fear of heights is really a fear of that drive that makes you want to dive off the bridge.

    My long diatribe was because the line “The water under the sharp white bridge was entirely calm even when people dove into it.” is so deceptively simple that it contains so much power. It made me think of Deception Pass, the desire to jump, but also my many years before, when I spent my daily existence battling against suicidal thoughts, and it felt like that simple line. The waters remain calm even when you jump. I love all your words but sometimes you really move me deeply.

    • #2 by Carl on October 6, 2011 - 10:33 pm

      I was beginning to feel like I wrote some junk again, so your comment is appreciated. That pull thing is powerful and it happens in different spots. It is unusual. You are very kind and I appreciate it.

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