It’s Up, and you know it’s Down.
Hesitating, I shouldn’t judge, but all
the other humans live a level-
headed life. The only level for me
is the three-foot long, six-pound
one that someone dropped from
the thirty-fourth floor, obliterating
my head while I was eating a delight-
ful egg salad sandwich at the expensive
cafe that charges table time (being that
their sidewalk tables are so Lilly-white), by
the minute and coffee, by the drip, but I
can’t blame that level for my volatile
mud-faced, chaotic piece of whacked
living in the world of an Ozzy reality
show. How I wish I had Ozzy’s
accent, and when I was drinking,
I would sputter dastardly words that
sounded like shit seeping out from
a crock pot lid with hot dogs in boiling
water, gray hot dogs that would be,
just like Ozzy (me, not the hot dogs),
just like Ozzy, and I was jolly, too.
Yes, it’s Up and it’s Down and it’s
all too real like grinding sand storms
in my eyes when emotional
pain comes from hollow, dead trees
with empty nooses. Today was my
Up, and why shan’t I be agreeable with
Up while she’s here, and not dread
Down, knowing, factually, he’ll be back,
knowing I won’t stop him, but for now
he is off playing lawn tennis in India,
chewing the red, rubber balls with fluor-
escent yellow fuzz, tangling like wire
all over his cheeks, splotched like ketch-
up because someone else is able to whip
his ass in straight sets, not allowing him
to even hold serve (wishing I could watch).
He’ll come back for me, but he
always gets bored and Up will be
back and she and I will picnic in a
violently-warm, pink rainbow.
stillfugue 
#1 by Indigo Spider on July 19, 2011 - 10:51 pm
Wow.This just chants all the way down, a stream of conscious rhythmical feel, amazing. The last line “violently-warm, pink rainbow” blows my mind.
#2 by Carl on July 20, 2011 - 10:16 pm
Thank you for your kind words!
#3 by scribbla on July 20, 2011 - 2:25 am
Yeah – the stream of conscious feel to this is fabulous. Many times it doesn’t work. This one is a winner for sure. Super, super write. I particularly liked the opening image of a level. I pictured a water level that measures the straightness of things. I know that my water level does not center, so I really enjoyed that little flash of imagery. Thanks.
#4 by Carl on July 20, 2011 - 10:19 pm
I never know when it works and when it doesn’t or if it does or if it doesn’t. I suppose that is why I am an office monkey by day. I appreciate your kind words. What you say about it really inspires me to keep going. And those levels are the worst – The bubbles never work and are evil. That is why the guy threw his from the 34th floor.
#5 by Kay Camden on July 20, 2011 - 9:46 am
Gosh. What to say? Does this spill from your mind? Or do you have to mold it?
#6 by Carl on July 20, 2011 - 10:20 pm
OOOOH! Thank you! It is both. It is a lot of spillage and a lot of mopping, and the mop ringer is warn out but the mold is killing the strep throat!!
#7 by pattisj on July 20, 2011 - 2:58 pm
I love the descriptions you used and that you just went where it took you. Cool.
#8 by Carl on July 20, 2011 - 10:21 pm
Thank you, Patti. I appreciate your comment.
#9 by Life: Between the lines on July 23, 2011 - 10:03 am
I like it, particularly the image of up being a woman, the positive part lol and the acceptance that there are ups and lows, to enjoy the ups, get ready for the lows and that they will go away. Isn’t that what they call a breakthrough????!!!! And the days of drinking seem way way back there…
Happy saturday! It’s been a minute, nice reading you as usual 🙂
#10 by Fountains on August 6, 2011 - 11:48 am
That last line is going to stick with me forever.
#11 by Carl on August 9, 2011 - 5:59 am
Your words are a gift.