Begging My Fragile Chemistries to Hold, to Stay Stuck on Good

There is an electric swarm of worms
flying on red carpets, built for speed,
as I see those words, “this is helpful,”
and I think that is all I really want is to
be helpful, to help others out of jams,
and some say thank you and I fill with joy,
but the worms, they keep flying. They
have more eyes than you would believe
and they stare at all of the weak junctures,
game-planning the next attack, knowing
that the chemicals cannot be consistent,
that there will be a time for gaps to appear,
and no matter how helpful I work to be,
the worms, they’ll eat the self-esteem, and
they’ll ask, “who are you kidding?” She tells
me not to wait for the other shoe to drop,
but the other shoe drops every fucking
day, and it beats me to little smithereens
of insignificant dust. I’ll try harder tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I might be good enough.

, , , , , ,

  1. #1 by Carl D'Agostino on July 19, 2011 - 2:18 am

    The worms are constantly game planning. With persistence we may gain the upper hand because they must have venerabilities as well, don’t you agree? Then they will be forced to evacuate in search of weaker prey. And you may now empower that prey and helpful will return. It has been helpful when I allow despair to evolve into anger then rage in the refusal to let the worms win. It’s me or them, buddy. What’s the alternative?

    • #2 by Carl on July 19, 2011 - 9:11 pm


      I win a few, lose a lot, but the war’s not over!

  2. #3 by hudson howl on July 19, 2011 - 7:16 am

    I think blame is my worst parasite that I carry around. There are times I could use a bird to ride on my back an lunch on them. But as of yet no bird has appeared, only the help from others seem to be the remedy.

    • #4 by Carl on July 19, 2011 - 9:13 pm

      Thank you for your comment. I dare not count the parasites that I create out of my own spiritual self-neglect!

  3. #5 by siubhan on July 21, 2011 - 8:03 am

    an electric swarm of worms, flying on red carpets…. hmm. that does sound like fragile chemistry to me. you write tremendously well from the edge of the abyss. people need to read this stuff. too many people feel like this, like the worms are eating them from the inside out. you give them good voice.

    • #6 by Carl on July 21, 2011 - 11:06 pm

      I appreciate your generous words. It keeps me going.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: