Archive for June 30th, 2011
Tricky patterns in my mind
tip me over into empty Corvairs
going off cliffs with sharp razor
blades flying in my face, spraying
my skull into a full eagle nest
where the young ones are
stuttering out the fact that
I can’t do what I want to do
(to be an artist despite having
no talent for that stupid mission),
and all I can do is avoid the
alcohol that was my false
medicine and hope that some
powerful being will show me
sometime that some thing
I might do might do some
thing to make me feel okay.
General Malaise, not specific.
Away. She played inside my skull.
Higher powers. Uneven economies.
Thin line. Slip, dead. Find love.
floating in between life.
Seemingly unbelievable asks.
Kind humans gently send me
rewards, fill small universe.
life “preservers,” chance,
dark forest. Crashing impositions.
It’s back. Gratitude soft,
and life. Transitions, hauntings.
Nothing to confess
goes away. Warmed. Down. Literary
fears. Silky care fills empty buckets,
perhaps. Racing screens,
humans, machines, distant drama.
Mountain. Smoke. Swamps. Lucky me.
How lucky! Survived that.
Don’t make me. Send me away.
It’s not my fault? Perish the thought.
from dark garbage falter,
mutate throughout broken mind.
Searching deeply, inside. Soul,
stop. Me, The Prodigy, dogs.
Twist, baby, twist hard, baby. Twist
for vents. Ideas born,
Silly crybaby, love soothes.
Forgotten, I’m not totally shitty.
Traveling upwards. Reducing helper-pills.
Mash brings relief. Searching,
percolating crazy. Internalizing.
Want do-overs. Had
empty spirit. Love youth’s chances,
almost effective. Circles.
Brain gone missing. Interior,
forbidden air. Hollow. Guilt echoes.
Rough-in terrible caves,
hotly. Run fast. Sit. Don’t stand.
Seeking wisdom, saturated brain,
furiously chaotic, my brain.
Hopelessness caps old day.
Today! Fears jilted. Let go. Hang on.