You Have This Terrific Fear 100

You have this terrific fear. You are weak and you are of no consequence. You think it is important that people like you. They never like you and when they show the most distinctive displeasure, you cower like a sick little mouse, poisoned, about to die. Why don’t you go crawl into a valley of thick trees where you will never see the peoples’ expressions of disgust? Why don’t you? Please. Quit letting the others weigh on you. They won’t miss you. One day when they’re singing, they’ll be glad you’re gone. You could go fast, crash hard. Bonjour, m’lad.

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  1. #1 by MARANTHA JENELLE on June 15, 2011 - 5:54 pm

    carl, there is so much pain…so much despair…in your writing of late. i am praying you will be alright. my own writing lately has also carried dark overtones. please, don’t give up. i will tell you the same thing i just told iron spider, i, for what it’s worth, believe in you. i read your words and know you have talent, but the pain and despair in your recent pieces breaks my heart.

    please, sweetie, take care, and just know that at least one soul out in the world is thinking of you and praying for you.

    heaven bless,

    marantha

    • #2 by Carl on June 15, 2011 - 10:32 pm

      It’s okay, Marantha. It’s fiction.

      When it’s the real deal, I go to my doctor. Of course, I go to my doctor all of the time and she does some pretty good work.

      Writing can be extreme especially when I put the fiction label on it.

  2. #3 by carldagostino on June 15, 2011 - 8:47 pm

    We often feel this paranoia of inferiority. Actually, for the most part all these people we think are contemptuous and dismissive of us are paying no attention to us at all. They are too consumed with themselves.

    • #4 by Carl on June 15, 2011 - 10:37 pm

      You are absolutely right, Carl. My literary hero, David Foster Wallace, said something like, you wouldn’t worry about what people think about you if you realized how little they do. But some people do not have the character to have this awareness and we don’t know why.

      • #5 by Kay Camden on June 16, 2011 - 9:55 am

        Yes, absolutely yes to both Carls. People only notice you when it’s obvious you have no care for their opinion whatsoever!

  3. #6 by LetterzToNoOne on June 16, 2011 - 9:51 pm

    I question everything I say and do worried that I will offend. Only when I write am I free. Perhaps because it is to no specific person and simply an expression of myself.

    • #7 by Carl on June 16, 2011 - 11:26 pm

      I identify with what you say, strongly. When I write, I am free, but after I’ve shared it, I’m in fear again. When I look at it a week later, I say that is not nearly good enough!

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