The Morning’s Commute with Wild Tree Tops

Mind fuses empty prairies
with blurring confusion,
shrieking of the morning commute.
Trees, higher than the Rockies,
with crowned top hats of
barbaric branches blowing terribly
in Kansas wind
while lower shoots
remain sane and statuesque.

Tin can with carcasses of cushion,
floating, aiming for oblivion.
All of the structures disappear,
melting in tanks of tan cereals.
The cement far below
is icy air.
Tree tops whip messy, red jello
through my ears, out my eyes,
baking my brain.

American flags
sift through dust above the trash,
only some half mast,
many ragged like the city,
sitting in the boiling crater,
allowing no escape.
The city I swim in
while glowing orange
with a determined
but massively unconscious
survival mechanism.

Is it Wednesday again??
Not yet, but it is One Shot Wednesday #49! Go check out the fine work this week!

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  1. #1 by dustus on June 7, 2011 - 11:46 pm

    Outstanding imagery throughout your poem, Carl.
    “Tin can with carcasses of cushion,
    floating, aiming for oblivion.
    All of the structures disappear,
    melting in tanks of tan cereals.”
    Vividly poetic.

    • #2 by Carl on June 8, 2011 - 11:18 pm

      Thank you for your comment, Adam! I appreciate it!

  2. #3 by Claudia on June 8, 2011 - 1:49 am

    the madness of commuting…you capture it well…great imagery in this carl…The city I swim in
    while glowing orange…sometimes to me it’s only grey…need to go by bike more often…makes a big difference..

    • #4 by Carl on June 8, 2011 - 11:18 pm

      Thank you, Claudia!

      Yes, the bike is a wonderful solution.

  3. #5 by moondustwriter on June 8, 2011 - 2:11 am

    I feel the disparity here in this contrast between nature and the empty “tin can” existence in the polluted city

    Gr8 One Shot

    • #6 by Carl on June 8, 2011 - 11:19 pm

      Thank you for commenting!

  4. #7 by brian miller on June 8, 2011 - 7:30 am

    wow. brilliant imagery man, the jello is one that will stick with me honestly as i am familiar with the feel…you really caught the texture of the commute through man…

    • #8 by Carl on June 8, 2011 - 11:19 pm

      Those are very kind words, Brian. I appreciate your comment greatly!

  5. #9 by carldagostino on June 8, 2011 - 7:41 pm

    Another one to ponder for some time

    • #10 by Carl on June 8, 2011 - 11:21 pm

      Thank you for reading, Carl.

  6. #11 by janice kelly on June 8, 2011 - 7:41 pm

    hi carl,

    had to comment after reading your poem “The Morning’s Commute With Wild Tree Tops”…

    I see a lot more in the layers of your words than the madness of commuting…but you’re definitely good with words as they taunt and disturb me knowing darn well what they’re doing…i see a country ragged and depressed…”american flags sift through the dust above the trash only some half mast, ragged like the city”…people losing everything, beaten down so severely, that perhaps the red jello is their guts spilling out…it is amazing how i can read your poem and swear i see another layer yet still to be dug out beneath the melting tanks of tan cereals…

    perhaps those tree tops are just trying to warn everyone…but it is impossible to awaken massively unconscious survivors…

    your poetry is like a diamond with many facets…

    great writing


    • #12 by Carl on June 8, 2011 - 11:24 pm

      Thank you, Janice. You are right that there is more to be experienced in that commute than just the commute. I appreciate what you’ve said about your experience. You are so very kind with your comment. It means a great deal.

  7. #13 by libraryscene on June 8, 2011 - 9:31 pm

    Being from the Midwest, I appreciated your first stanza, but I dig your final one, that is just killer!
    Now that I think on it and re-read stanza two again, I love the description of ethanol and the car in general (tin can… my mind recalls Ed Abbey encouraging people to get of ’em and explore). You helped to reinforce why (despite the heat right now) I bike commute and watch the cans roll along where I can at least feel the sun. Excellent One Shot ~

    • #14 by Carl on June 8, 2011 - 11:25 pm

      Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate it greatly. Lucky you with the bike! 🙂

  8. #15 by Kay Camden on June 13, 2011 - 12:26 pm

    The title sounds like a recipe, and hmm. It kind of is.

    • #16 by Carl on June 13, 2011 - 4:42 pm

      It requires constant stirring.

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