Archive for May 11th, 2011

Excel, Not for Harry

Every morning, Harry gives me that loving, longing, eager look and works his tail like an amazing spiral windmill. He perks his ears, waiting for me to say “Let’s go!”

I’d love to have him go to work for me. I would stay home and read and write and walk and dream and nap. But the boy won’t even learn how to sort cells in Excel. I tell him he needs to get these rudimentary, tedious tasks under his big nose if he is going to replace me (any monkey could do it), but he has no perseverance and he resigns himself to the front window, gently nudging one of his toys with his teeth.

As I walk out the door each day, I tell him, “Work on your Excel, Harry; it’s the only thing I know that you don’t. I don’t think he’s with me on this. He doesn’t enjoy earning money.

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Phony Supervision

We need to be firmly educated
in our post-modern terms,
but I am beaten-down tired
by the philosophical bullshit.
You, sitting behind your desk
theorizing on financing strategies
of the bin Laden replacements.
Open your eyes,
and look who’s coming
in through your fucking front door.
Put your head down;
get back to work.

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The Room, Slightly Lifted

She brought summer into the building,
and I stuttered and stalled and stopped,
and I felt full of grace,
and the ceiling lifted a bit,
and the lights brightened,
and the air did what you think not,
it cooled like a spring breeze.
For a moment, life was in the air.

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Random: My Day with Pigface

Legal Notice: For Mature audiences (or immature audiences), not for those with normal sensibilities.

Every once in a while, I go back to the lab. Today, I’ve done that with lines from a live CD from the group Pigface. The creative method is inspired by John Cage, and I might say that I enjoy the results. Feel free to throw tomatoes.

Random: My Day with Pigface

0.036525 take the high ground; never look down
0.991095 divebomber big time momma
0.864649 you need love, love, love
0.479870 cursed maggot
0.498981 we come to fuck you over
0.756310 can I have a taste of your ice cream
0.609041 the king of negativity
0.837424 I don’t know what it is
0.765250 you look fucking brilliant
0.608317 eat shit, you fuckin redneck
0.624013 this is insane
0.065741 I love my city
0.942699 I’m closer to heaven when I’m with you
0.118874 your hands are shaking
0.867978 you need everything; I need you
0.170418 insect, insect, back to the subject
0.397764 can I interfere with your crisis
0.953830 now you need to make some noise for My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult
0.756494 you’re so fucking cool
0.215664 evil mothers
0.147935 guilty, guilty, guilty
0.427294 good evening, Chicago
0.501885 yeah, yeah, yeah
0.801770 one more lap around the racetrack
0.429789 I’m closer to heaven without you
0.074449 you need to make more noise than that
0.853442 blah, blah, fucking blah
0.656743 gotta get it revved up
0.606022 say a prayer for the nearly departed
0.116313 groovy man
0.854306 incoming
0.444970 looking for a suspect
0.650806 that fucking shirt stinks
0.708342 your mother wouldn’t like it
0.888786 I’m gonna blow you away
0.730237 you’re so damn cool
0.172478 never underestimate the difference that you as an individual can make
0.938908 YEAH
0.969247 your pulsing immorality
0.624532 It’s not being careful that protects you
0.664092 this is insane
0.015381 Pigface, Pigface, going to the racetrack
0.764309 one, two, fuck you
0.249720 the grim fairies
0.901298 It’s just doing everything 110 percent that protects you
0.592134 seven things, not seven words, seven things
0.214670 you guys havin’ a good time
0.151508 oh my baby
0.823685 to make you feel beautiful
0.473398 he says he holds us in his hand
0.880704 fuck you, mind your own business
0.684005 don’t waste my time
0.402247 suck, suck, suck
0.422061 incoming
0.671210 get the fuck away from me
0.126838 happy Easter
0.133125 god is here

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