The unbearable heat came today.
It was the first of the season.
I sat there with all of the car windows down,
staring up at the roof of the car,
watching the fuzziness,
feeling my face melting,
my brain paralyzed by my rats,
feeling barely conscious,
begging the heat to cleanse me,
to cook me good
like eggs getting spongy when scrambled.

I could not feel anything happen,
but when I focused on the heat,
I hoped it would help me forget,
help me lose the pain of brokenness,
but nothing happened
as I steadfastly refused
the chaos and relief of the air conditioning.