Archive for April 7th, 2011
Music drives me,
in a line of Roman soldiers,
not able to pull my weight,
but driven, driven by music.
Not on the flank,
might not be stabbed first.
Trumpets, triumphant, spirit rips and pulls
climbing from my gut,
seeming to escape my drying nostrils..
Bad is leaving me.
I suck more bad into my mouth
from mean turquoise clouds ,
hold the bad air steadily in my lungs,
crushing it, smashing it to nothing.
Exhale and blow all that is good
unto the world.
Elephants are truly large,
and tools are sixty-year-old trees.
I am ninety-five snakes,
sliding to preempt
those who starve to kill.
I like to tell people that I’m bad with the phone. I suppose it’s true. Today, I got ten or twelve calls at the office. I became highly aware of my unconscious, hateful reaction toward being compelled to talk on the phone. I answered each of the calls, and after about 15 or 20 seconds, that driving, deep revolt dissipates back to almost no presence from the unconscious and I begin to feel almost comfortable, relaxed.
Each time a call comes in, I really want my voice mail to handle it. How can voice mail handle the things someone might call me about? It can’t, but at least then I get time to prepare on how I might respond to the caller, and sometimes, I get to respond by email, which seems to be a way I allow myself to be clearer in my communication (despite what your opinion might be about my essay at this point).
I have found that I really need to see a face in order to feel as though I am in a comfortable conversation. With the phone, perhaps it is my problem with shattered self-esteem, I seemingly always have an initial feeling of the party Read the rest of this entry »