For many cycles, I was a spy.
I spied on myself with great alacrity.
Serious hundreds of moments per day.
Watching myself, wondering who I am.
I watched how nervous I was
over being watched by something,
something I never caught, but I
was watching myself with twitches.
I couldn’t catch myself making myself
twitch and I couldn’t uncover who
it was when it was myself hounding
my self.
Today, I was spying on myself
and I noticed myself watching myself
which meant I was not spying
and I felt free.
stillfugue 
#1 by screen_scribbla on March 17, 2011 - 4:07 pm
Ah-so. Like a zen koan. But if you caught yourself spying on yourself, who caught you spying on yourself?
#2 by Carl on March 17, 2011 - 9:45 pm
Truly bizarre. I think unlike a koan which might not be rational but is intuitive, this became starkly true to me as I was walking in a Wal-Mart parking lot.
#3 by Evelyn on March 17, 2011 - 7:26 pm
I dont even know what to say.
This is so heart felt.
brilliant.
#4 by Carl on March 17, 2011 - 10:01 pm
Oh, thank you so much! I don’t understand it anymore but it was nice when I was writing it.