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Broken and Picked Up

Evelyn at Filling a Hole led us in another duel today. (Check out the last duel if you wish.) Her version is up!

It is difficult to keep up with her talent. We alternated lines and then this time, we were allowed to use any lines and any parts of lines including using parts more than once. The gamblers would say hers will make more sense, be shorter, more succinct and more artistic, but I tried. The original version is below in italics.


Been on shelves, Sails empty.
Broken and picked up, my chains affix me.
With floorboard leaks and roses with violent flu,
Where will you put me?

Burns good, a touch black, read bad.
Relocation nation, my chains affix me.
I traverse billowing hills, new land, no flight.
Where will you put me?

Firestarter resting gracefully,
willing to piss out any flare ups, my chains affix me.
Many thousands of parrots, they sweet talk freedom.
Where will you put me?

Fire my boat through a purple tornado.
Truck and luggage stuffed in my mouth, my chains affix me.
I’ll never be whole again, broken and picked up.
Where will you put me?

Trucks, parrot cages, tricycles, water sign sits.
Rich, rich realtors are along for the ride, my chains affix me
A night is still night, silence still captivating.
Broken and picked up, my chains affix me.

I released them to fend for themselves.
Rivers cut lovely channels, can’t use Yellow Submarine,
And I shall ride in a boat with my luggage and tomorrows.
Where will you put me?

Broken and picked up, where will you put me?
I’ve been on shelves, have held trophies
But now I wish for relocation nation
trucks, parrot cages, tricycles and rich, rich realtors
Are along for the ride, new land, no flight
Rivers cut lovely channels but I traverse billowing hills
And I shall ride in a boat with my luggage and tomorrows.
Sails empty, my boat is powered with my wrecked soul.
Burns good, a touch black, read bad
with floorboard leaks and roses with violent flu
A night is still night, silence still captivating.
Firestarter resting gracefully in an oddly-organic spare.
Water sign sits in the corner, willing to piss out any flare ups.
Many thousands of parrots fire my boat through a purple tornado
I released them to fend for themselves; they sweet talk freedom.
my chains affix me to my truck and luggage stuffed in my mouth.
I’ll never be whole again.

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  1. #1 by Evelyn on March 9, 2011 - 8:44 pm

    “Fire my boat through a purple tornado.
    Truck and luggage stuffed in my mouth, my chains affix me.
    I’ll never be whole again, broken and picked up.
    Where will you put me?”
    yes! Love this stanza!!
    Carl, I am lucky to have you as a friend.

    • #2 by Carl on March 9, 2011 - 9:03 pm

      I am lucky too, and on top of that, you are a masterful teacher, especially when I listen.

  1. Purple Parrot and Other Codewords « Filling a Hole

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