A target of the most severe,
alone in my disease is dangerous.
Hermits do not get well,
but the world demands that I become the recluse.
Sappy snow queens with brown terror,
shatter eyes and ruin gut.
Nice would be to reverse all the irremediable ruin,
but even so, I’m never well enough.
Could someone save me,
allow me to become the good being
I’m expected to be?
So natural for me to detest myself,
when others hate me, it is hard enhancement.
My personal qualities are abhorrent.
How do you run from fear
being full of fear? Shields don’t work –
Loaded women dissolve my armaments.
It is all so rotten under my covers.
How might I be revised?
Not by attacks from the scum and the good –
There is no center.
stillfugue 
#1 by debi on February 10, 2011 - 7:57 am
I like the way you put words together.
With such honesty.
And scary.
I love this:
“How do you run from fear
being full of fear?”
I don’t suffer from depression, but this still hits home.
#2 by Carl on February 10, 2011 - 8:27 am
Thank you for reading, Debi, and thanks for your very kind comment.
#3 by liv2write2day on February 10, 2011 - 12:47 pm
So much courage in your writing, Carl. And ability to express what others feel and keep inside.
#4 by Carl on February 10, 2011 - 8:32 pm
It helps me. It is therapeutic. Thanks for commenting.
#5 by Evelyn on February 10, 2011 - 7:34 pm
your style is right out there in this one.
its sharp, like a razor.
your work is improving with each post.
its very obvious.
#6 by Carl on February 10, 2011 - 9:14 pm
Your comments help. You are kind and patient!
#7 by y on February 15, 2011 - 7:54 pm
Loaded women dissolve my armaments. — how awesome!!
#8 by Carl on February 15, 2011 - 8:57 pm
Thank you…Almost a visual to it… 🙂
#9 by y on February 15, 2011 - 9:01 pm
(smile)