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You’re Ruined

“You’re not the same Carl I married.”
I sit there longing to meet this guy
who was apparently a decent guy.
Where did he go?

I don’t miss the drunk.
When the drunk vacated,
I suddenly had an open road.
I cannot go back to that hell.

Where is the good part?
Who is this asshole, this gentleman
who has left town?

I want to be good for everyone,
but Carl is gone into a cyclone.

Her question deserving a robust no:
“Am I supposed to put up with this
for the rest of my life?”
Her question deserving a dopey look:
“When will you get better?”
I feel stupid about this.

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  1. #1 by Marian on February 8, 2011 - 9:31 pm

    i want to be good for everyone? it’s a myth, baby.
    i want to be good for everyone, too. it is impossible.

    • #2 by Carl on February 8, 2011 - 10:23 pm

      It is part of my daily ruin.

      It should be, “I don’t care what you think about me, I love you.”

  2. #3 by y on February 8, 2011 - 10:02 pm

    i especially like the innocence of the first stanza and the line, “I suddenly had an open road.” thank you!

    • #4 by Carl on February 8, 2011 - 10:25 pm

      Ah, yes! Opportunities abound! Thank you for visiting and for commenting.

  3. #5 by Evelyn on February 9, 2011 - 8:27 pm

    This poem is fucking devestating.
    Its so real, I cant believe who raw you laid yourself out for us.
    This is just amazing. Maybe the best thing I have read of yours…
    so far

    • #6 by Carl on February 9, 2011 - 10:08 pm

      Wow! You are generous. It felt clumsy but there are many reasons for that.

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