I wake up today, cautiously, rotting in the same way in the same place,
horror rumbling knives in my head, evading dread around the gut,
a guy putting on gray shirt and gray pants, doing his best
to do what is demanded by heavy-breathing, plastic monkeys.
Animals lunge and animals carve – puncture and kill and cackle.
Aberrant beasts as mean as all of my favorite, intimate creatures,
run in the same dizzy hole, suppressing all of the pink life and flow.
I am mixed and squashed, hidden and spread through grimy bushes.
Shredded brown houses maneuver to poison my foggy expanse,
pour me on my knees. Staring at an ambulance, dehydrating in the cold:
red, blue, red, blue, yellow, yellow, red, blue, red, blue. Yellow.
I yearn to jump in, to go West forever, clashing with Southern suns,
seeking permanent peace – never to be the same, never to be the same again.
stillfugue 
#1 by liv2write2day on February 5, 2011 - 3:50 pm
This is also an incredibly powerful poem. I like the way you use color to portray emotion. I tend to equate gray with depression, too.
#2 by Carl on February 5, 2011 - 11:17 pm
Thank you again! You are so kind to read and to comment.
#3 by Evelyn on February 5, 2011 - 8:43 pm
“I yearn to jump in, to go West forever, clashing with Southern suns,
seeking permanent peace – never to be the same, never to be the same again. ”
amazing…
you let yourself go here but at the same time it seems meticulous in word choice…
#4 by Carl on February 5, 2011 - 11:19 pm
Thank you, Evelyn. There was what felt to be a better editing process. I appreciate your words of encouragement.
#5 by Evelyn on February 7, 2011 - 8:01 pm
I appreciate your poems.
I will do anything to help keep ’em coming…
🙂
#6 by undeniablymaybe on February 6, 2011 - 9:47 am
“I wake up today, cautiously…” – LOVE this introduction to the piece. It grabbed me right away. As did this: “I yearn to jump in, to go West forever, clashing with Southern suns,
seeking permanent peace – never to be the same, never to be the same again. ”
You have very adequately captured emotion in that last quote, that I have often felt. Thanks for that.
#7 by Carl on February 7, 2011 - 7:02 am
Thank you for your kind words and thank you for taking the time to comment.
#8 by Claudia on February 6, 2011 - 10:42 am
i can feel you in this – very intense emotions poured into words..go west forever…i know this feeling
#9 by Carl on February 7, 2011 - 7:03 am
Thank you, Claudia! I appreciate your comment.
#10 by Jamie Dedes, all rights reserved on February 6, 2011 - 11:44 pm
Ardent and intensely moving. You use color and direction to good effect here. Some phrases like “horror rumbling knives in my head” tell us instantly what the narrator is feeling … Extraordinary poem, I’d say … Clash with the sun … do it … what we have to do to survive.
Thanks for a memorable experience, Carl. Nothing trite about this or any of your poems.
#11 by Carl on February 7, 2011 - 7:08 am
Your words are very kind, Jamie! I appreciate your comment and it makes my day so much better.