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Snap Landing

Fragile,
in dense ancient oaks,
realistic yet again, but hush
intensely with feathers of red snow,
And we know why we start. And
motion comes bounding, bearing
crack and snap landing
silty tan air with furry curved edges.
Sparkles from stars comfort.
Even echoes racing,
seaweed dips,
passes, rises, wheezes, drops.
Horizontal dives, silent brushstrokes
sent using wireless time travel
across sandy orange hair.

 

Evelyn and I wrote a poem together, and then we wrote our own versions.

Evelyn changed the rules mid-game without telling me, so her work is better: Approaching

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  1. #1 by Evelyn on January 31, 2011 - 9:40 pm

    “motion comes bounding, bearing
    crack and snap landing”
    Damn it!
    why didnt I think of that combination! Its PERFECT!
    Crap!

    • #2 by Carl on January 31, 2011 - 9:51 pm

      Oh, you!
      You are the best!

      The thing I was worried about with that line is that either the drug cops or the plumbers union would be after me.

  2. #3 by heather grace stewart on February 1, 2011 - 8:56 am

    Another masterpiece. I’m lying here (sick) looking at them both like paintings in a gallery. Can’t compare em. They just are. Beautiful.

    • #4 by Carl on February 1, 2011 - 9:16 am

      You are so kind, and it means the world to me! Thanks for commenting!

  3. #5 by Marian on February 1, 2011 - 9:40 am

    huh. i like “we know why we start.” it makes me think about why. why? huh.

    • #6 by Carl on February 1, 2011 - 2:18 pm

      It makes YOU ask why! That is Evelyn’s line and she refuses to tell me what it means so it shakes me up a bit too. I like it where it ended up! 🙂

  4. #7 by liv2write2day on February 1, 2011 - 2:48 pm

    This is the kind of poem that leaves you wishing you had been the one to write it. Exquisite imagery, Carl and Evelyn. Amazing what a collaborative effort can produce.

    • #8 by Carl on February 1, 2011 - 3:22 pm

      Thank you so much, Victoria! You are very kind. It was the most interesting exercise!

  5. #9 by CDG on February 2, 2011 - 6:11 am

    “…And
    motion comes bounding, bearing
    crack and snap landing
    silty tan air with furry curved edges.”

    Fantastic image, that.

    • #10 by Carl on February 2, 2011 - 7:20 am

      You are very kind! It is nice of you to read and to comment!

  6. #11 by Jamie Dedes, all rights reserved on February 2, 2011 - 9:50 am

    Yes. This is indeed a good collaboration.

    Thanks for a fine visit and a wonderful start to my Wednesday, Carl.

    Blessings …

    • #12 by Carl on February 2, 2011 - 11:54 am

      Oh, thank you so much for visiting, Jamie! You are very kind. This collaboration was the most interesting experience – It sounded like a distraction but it ended up being intensely good.

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