The late afternoon winter sun stabs, punctures,
Puzzling the tricky, dainty gleam of workers’ cars.
These shanked conveyances are trophies
For those who slave away in plastic caves.
Glistening ice of black pavement beckons,
Salute, crawl and grind your sloppy bones.
Feel the piercing salt as you slither from your
Museum of stumped, immovable, gray misery.
I am submitting this for One Shot Wednesday, which is so popular with folks doing the head start, it might be called One Shot Tuesday Night. Please check out the fine collection there!
#1 by waystationone on January 11, 2011 - 9:46 pm
dang…sounds like a monday to me…smiles. nice one shot…
#2 by Carl on January 11, 2011 - 10:30 pm
Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it. Everyday is Monday unless it’s Saturday or Sunday! 🙂
#3 by Evelyn on January 11, 2011 - 10:10 pm
“Feel the piercing salt as you slither”
love this.
love salt, burning, cloudy white, jagged.
#4 by Carl on January 11, 2011 - 10:32 pm
Thank you, Evelyn. I get this terrible feeling when I crunch the salt on the walk, feeling as though I am hurting these tiny living things, and those little bits crunch so loudly!!!
#5 by Sirenum Scopuli on January 11, 2011 - 10:24 pm
This reminded me of the lyrics of the song ‘Synchronicity’: Packed like lemmings into shiny metal boxes, contestants in a suicidal race…
Good work.
#6 by Carl on January 11, 2011 - 10:39 pm
Thank you for your comment – Synchronicity, the album, was one of my favorites. It was the last good work Sting did. Sting got the title and some of the philosophy from Jung, and that is one great place to get your philosophy
#7 by Claudia on January 12, 2011 - 10:51 am
how do you know how i feel, driving home from work…smiles
the gray misery…hmmm…can identify ….great write!
#8 by Carl on January 12, 2011 - 8:39 pm
Thanks for coming by and commenting! I thought I was the only one who whined about work…
#9 by hedgewitch on January 12, 2011 - 11:26 am
Loved the imagery in this one–a very vivid creation of a place and mood, in a kind of timeless perspective of human misery–that’s my view of work for money, anyway. Really enjoyed this description: “…sun stabs, punctures,/Puzzling the tricky, dainty gleam of workers’ cars….” great visual of that reflected sunlight off the dead frozen sparkly windshields and metal. Very nice.
#10 by Carl on January 12, 2011 - 8:40 pm
Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate it and it helps!
#11 by Marian on January 13, 2011 - 12:17 pm
this kind of makes me want to poke my eyes out. with my office scissors.
#12 by Carl on January 13, 2011 - 12:51 pm
That was not precisely the goal I had in mind – Be careful! I think you identify with the feeling!!