wearing the worn threads
of a soldier who should be caged,
dark suit seems to be
bright enough, crisp enough
to allow conformity.
she gasps in frustration,
sends me off to find
she knows it is an
the threads melt to a
under her parting stare.
search for worth or value,
hide in the bomb shelter
that is a cubicle for soldiers,
praying never to be needed
for this mission again,
knowing failure is here soon,
knowing that security
may never be possessed
by a man in wilting, melting,
by a man of the lesser class,
by a man without God,
who needs to be the subject
of prayers of the superior class.
I am submitting this one for the Thursday Poets Rally. There is a great collection over there.
#1 by Jamie Dedes, all rights reserved on January 11, 2011 - 8:30 am
Well done. Have you posted this on Poetry Potluck. I think there’s still time to share. You’d be welcome.
Thanks for you comment on my blog. I picked up the wrong theme by the way. It’s actually “Journey and Road Ahead.”
#2 by Carl on January 11, 2011 - 7:46 pm
Thank you for your comment, Jamie! I like to comply with the theme if there is one, and I did not have something. I have done the Rally and have enjoyed that, have found some great stuff there. I thought you had an interesting take on the theme rather than the wrong theme!
#3 by Gab on January 11, 2011 - 7:31 pm
Love it. Specially those final lines.
#4 by Carl on January 11, 2011 - 8:19 pm
You’re awesome – Thanks for stopping by. I looked at it again, and the poem could just as well start with the first line that begins with ‘knowing’
#5 by Jingle on January 12, 2011 - 10:09 pm
well expressed message,
God is the solution…powerful.
#6 by Carl on January 12, 2011 - 10:21 pm
Thank you, Jingle!
#7 by fiveloaf on January 13, 2011 - 1:17 am
lovely and well written.. here’s mine for this thursday.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/02/19/the-tears/
#8 by Carl on January 13, 2011 - 8:42 am
Thank you for commenting!
#9 by tya on January 13, 2011 - 4:04 am
#10 by Carl on January 13, 2011 - 8:43 am
Thank you, Tya! Thanks for commenting.
#11 by Sam on January 13, 2011 - 4:23 am
A powerful message Carl..Loved it.
#12 by Carl on January 13, 2011 - 8:43 am
Thank you for commenting, Sam. I appreciate it.
#13 by RiikaInfinityy 마왕 on January 13, 2011 - 6:01 am
Wonderful! I love ur message!=D
#14 by Carl on January 13, 2011 - 8:44 am
Thanks so much for commenting!
#15 by Marian on January 13, 2011 - 12:15 pm
whoa, a heavy one, Carl. i think i would like to avoid that “parting stare.”
i read this as saying the protagonist is being labelled inferior and prayed for because of lack of belief in god, not that he actually is inferior. i appreciate the sentiment and the powerfulness of the telling of it.
#16 by Carl on January 13, 2011 - 12:49 pm
Thank you so much, Marian! Yes, you are right, but I was thinking that the protagonist might have a god, but maybe not the correct one…Thanks for reading!
#17 by kolembo on January 13, 2011 - 12:41 pm
I like this one. I see the soldier in the closet, in the bomb hole…I see the soldier as a suit without a man in it -rallypoet-
#18 by Carl on January 13, 2011 - 12:55 pm
Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it.
#19 by Ina on January 15, 2011 - 3:51 am
#20 by Carl on January 15, 2011 - 8:27 pm
Thank you for your comment!
#21 by liv2write2day on January 15, 2011 - 7:18 pm
Wow, Carl. This is jolting. The only word I can think of to describe my reaction. No room for complacency in this one.
#22 by Carl on January 15, 2011 - 9:47 pm
Thank you for your comment. I loved your poem.
#23 by Jingle on January 18, 2011 - 1:25 pm
How are you?
Please keep in mind to:
#1: return favor to poets who visited you
#2: complete 18 comments to your peers…or fresh poets to explore..
Thanks for the lovely contribution, it is fun when everyone gets the job done…