Archive for January 8th, 2011
tittering, stuttering, and blowing through sounds
tattering, wrong turns, sound penetrating knowledge
glistening, willing, listening and seeing no black or white
isolating, YouTube proselytizing heavily on the varieties of grip
stalking, sinking into mixtures of broken trophies and shiny windows
testing, knowledge thrusting from FaceBook showing us how we know all there is
no place for discovering love, shifting and sliding amongst grotesque letters
pointing and shaking and saying fuck you and telling us you are good
splitting hidden emotions ready to be banished
throwing bolts of lightning and killing life
walking in circles to a home in the dust
listening to the man, hearing the man
on YouTube telling you
where to go for love.
they say, it is cunning, baffling, and powerful
so we keep coming back
we are also
being continuously in a contrarian, powerless state
This is another in the Who I Want to Be series, which seems to have gained a weekly rhythm. It’s a bit long, but if you are interested in pursuit of truth over the power of emotions and the pursuit of rationality over existential fatalism, it might prove interesting.
I’ve been thinking about the topic of truth for three solid days, a very complicated type of truth. This began with R telling B1 and me that B1 has no problem with seeing the truth even when she has powerful emotions; whereas, my emotions tend to be my truth. My natural reaction is a defensive one, to claim that there is no way that I am an emotional animal. I want to believe that I am smart enough not to let my emotions run my life or ruin my life. I’m smart enough to know that my emotions are only a psycho-physical reaction to how I perceive the world. My perceptions and the subsequent emotions can be various shades of right or wrong, but I can’t control them. I can control my reaction to the emotions.
R asked me and B1 the same question, “Do you think you can control whether or not you fall in love?” B1 answered quite quickly that she could. Read the rest of this entry »