Eyes move in jerky, rapid jolts,
As a cat jumping through the wall,
The incessant pounding inspiring,
Terrifying,
Head shakes madly,
Neck hurts,
Hands triumphant,
(Co-workers worried,
What did I have for lunch?
What type of psychosis
Is hooked into my ears?)
Waving loudly and
Conducting brilliantly,
Frightening brass
God, this is it!
Give me a fucking
Clarinet, damn it!
Let me do this
Forever.
At least Shostakovich
Never leaves me.
But at the end,
The quiet ending,
Vibrant energy stopping air,
Bubbles stopping life in the throat,
At the lowest whisper,
The xylophone,
Give me a soft mallet,
Resignation of sad trumpets,
Despondent, more than usual,
Bass clarinet,
The music
Breathes:
The life,
All of the preceding
Energy, enthusiasm
is useless.
We’re not
Better than dust.
Smashed spirit.
Smashed life.
For those who might be interested, here a particularly exciting part from the first movement, and it has a link to the full performance should you be so inspired.
stillfugue 