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Shostakovich 4

Eyes move in jerky, rapid jolts,

As a cat jumping through the wall,

The incessant pounding inspiring,

Terrifying,

Head shakes madly,

Neck hurts,

Hands triumphant,

(Co-workers worried,

What did I have for lunch?

What type of psychosis

Is hooked into my ears?)

Waving loudly and

Conducting brilliantly,

Frightening brass

God, this is it!

Give me a fucking

Clarinet, damn it!

Let me do this

Forever.

 

At least Shostakovich

Never leaves me.

 

But at the end,

The quiet ending,

Vibrant energy stopping air,

Bubbles stopping life in the throat,

At the lowest whisper,

The xylophone,

Give me a soft mallet,

Resignation of sad trumpets,

Despondent, more than usual,

Bass clarinet,

The music

Breathes:

The life,

All of the preceding

Energy, enthusiasm

is useless.

We’re not

Better than dust.

Smashed spirit.

Smashed life.

 

 

For those who might be interested, here a particularly exciting part from the first movement, and it has a link to the full performance should you be so inspired.

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