Why do I fondly miss
The one who threw me away?
Why do I long for the one
Who loved receiving my trust
And then betrayed every confidence?
I do not feel insane.
I am troubled and alone,
But I am not insane.
I long for life and engagement.
But I am glad she is gone.
Safe is coming back, my heart steady.
I miss her from a safe distance,
In my sanity cage.
I’m haunted by her radical energy
And she is good enough to know it.
I entered this one for the Thursday Poets Rally Week 36.
Thank you to Jingle for the flattering award!
stillfugue 
#1 by Jingle on December 30, 2010 - 10:00 am
love it,
beautiful delivery of confused emotions, yet you know what you are doing…
keep it up.
Happy Rally…
best wishes for the year of 2011.
🙂
#2 by Carl on December 30, 2010 - 10:57 pm
Thank you for the kind words, Ji! Thank you for the Rally – It is good fun. Best to you for 2011!
#3 by Someone is Special on December 30, 2010 - 11:22 am
beautiful man.. first time here… enjoyed…
#4 by Someone Is Special on December 30, 2010 - 11:23 am
beautiful done, enjoyed.. Here is mine, ! Wishes !
Happy Rally, Wish you a very Happy New Year 2011 !
–Someone is Special–
#5 by Carl on December 30, 2010 - 10:57 pm
Thank you for your comment. I will visit yours.
#6 by Anita Wakeham on December 30, 2010 - 2:25 pm
Profound words, well written.
Anita.
#7 by Carl on December 30, 2010 - 10:58 pm
Anita, thank you for your kind words. It means a great deal.
#8 by liv2write2day on December 30, 2010 - 8:48 pm
There is a sense of sadness but also acceptance in this, Carl. It seems that pain can be the source of such sensitive poetry.
my rally: http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/12/30/darkness-is-only-a-degree-of-light/
#9 by Carl on December 30, 2010 - 11:02 pm
Thank you so much for your comment, and I enjoyed yours. This is the best kind of sharing!
#10 by Tweety on December 31, 2010 - 4:12 am
i always believe that with acceptance comes the ability to move on and let go of our pain…this is sad but hopeful…Happy new year to you..
#11 by Carl on December 31, 2010 - 6:50 am
Thank you for your comment, and Happy New Year to you!
#12 by A Fistful Of Moonbeams on December 31, 2010 - 11:00 pm
“I long for life and engagement.
But I am glad she is gone.”
Ha! yesyes!!!
#13 by Carl on January 1, 2011 - 12:29 am
Thank you for the comment!
#14 by orange on December 31, 2010 - 11:08 pm
Awesome… reminded me of someone I knew and learnt not to miss…
#15 by Carl on January 1, 2011 - 12:30 am
Ah, that’s good if we can identify with these. I am glad you could. Thank you!
#16 by Olivia on January 1, 2011 - 5:07 am
Hmm.. one hell of a thought provoking poem.. 🙂
Carl, this one is deep beyond the visible words.. well done
Wishing you a wonderful New Year!
Love n Hugs xxx
#17 by Carl on January 1, 2011 - 5:47 am
Olivia, Thank you for your kind words. It means a great deal. I hope you have a fulfilling New Year!
#18 by Vishwas Anand on January 1, 2011 - 7:12 am
The irony of life is well depicted! Happy new year!
#19 by Carl on January 1, 2011 - 10:04 am
Thank you for your comment and Happy New Year to you!
#20 by uma.a on January 1, 2011 - 1:17 pm
Could see the pain…nice write
#21 by Carl on January 1, 2011 - 5:17 pm
Thank you for your comment.
#22 by chaspalette on January 3, 2011 - 8:24 pm
Reason vs passion. My emotions caught in a poem. I love it.
Thank you for this one. Happy Rally!
~Cha
http://chaspalette.wordpress.com/2010/12/23/she-is-her-but-not-her/
#23 by Carl on January 3, 2011 - 9:30 pm
Thank you for your kind comments!
#24 by Scent of my heart on January 4, 2011 - 12:29 am
We often desire things we can’t have or people that hurt us … it’s unexplainable and yet we keep on doing it! Lovely write! Thanks for visiting my blog, have a wonderful 2011!
#25 by Carl on January 4, 2011 - 6:40 am
Thank you for your kind comment and thank you for visiting!
#26 by azfree on January 4, 2011 - 11:53 pm
Sometimes that betrayal and radical energy feels like a drug, an addiction. Been there! Very nice piece!!
#27 by Carl on January 5, 2011 - 6:19 am
Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it.
#28 by Sam on January 5, 2011 - 12:49 am
Nice poem…I have had the same feelings for quiet a while.
#29 by Carl on January 5, 2011 - 6:20 am
Thank you for your comment. We can’t stay there too long, right?
#30 by Jingle on January 5, 2011 - 9:17 pm
Thanks for posting an award here…
blessings…
Happy Thursday.
🙂
#31 by fiveloaf on January 6, 2011 - 3:08 am
lovely.. mine for this thursday- http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/02/14/hunger/
#32 by Carl on January 6, 2011 - 7:02 am
Thank you for your comment. I enjoyed “Hunger.”
#33 by Británny Herrada on January 7, 2011 - 9:09 am
I really liked this one…i think it would have been a bit stronger from a readers perspective if you try this same piece minus the I, me, or and’s to begin lines. I began writing this way and realized it was carry over from writing in other realms of writing longer short stories and my novel project. Sort of a need to create flow and transition but once you become aware of this tendency you can create much more dense and active lines. This is full of strong emotional imagery to relate to and the elimination of those words would make it more engaging. Thanks for sharing
#34 by Carl on January 7, 2011 - 7:37 pm
Brittany,
This is great feedback. I appreciate your taking the time to express the thoughts. I fully agree with you, and I am sure this is going to help me in the future. I have been able to cut this kind of noise out of other pieces, but it certainly stayed in this one. I often have this picture that seems to call for poetry, but when I write it, it comes out like fiction, or worse, an ill-fated combination of the two.
Thanks again – This is very helpful!