Archive for December 19th, 2010
This is additional material for the Who I Want to Be effort.
I wrote a Mission Statement a few years ago, not long after I got sober. I’d written many before that and had various successes living up to them. After getting sober, it was so wonderful to finally have a Mission Statement where I could honestly pursue all of the values I genuinely believed in. I could begin to succeed at fulfilling my values with my foe, alcohol, out of the way. Alcohol doesn’t destroy your values but it significantly lowers the priority level of implementing those values. The following statements that are bolded and italicized are from that Mission Statement, and following each one is a judgment on performance. As I progress in my work with B2, I am sure we will get a totally new Mission and hopefully do a little to live up to it.
I will be passionate for a sober life filled with music, serenity, and integrity without the chaos driving the bus. I need to try to go easy on myself – I’m staying sober and helping others in that regard. That’s good. I also listen to music as much as I can because it fuels my life and my desire to do good things. I don’t think I have any serenity, but it is relative. Many of the things Read the rest of this entry »
The streets of downtown Cincinnati were so deserted, I briefly believed we had hit the end of time, and I missed loud signals on that cold spring night. I was lost and full of fear. There are different types of fear, but no fear is more gripping than that fear that a loved one is about to hurt you deeply.
Laura wore a dark maroon dress with a hemline just above her knee, and that night more than most, I remember thinking how beautiful her legs looked. They had a perfect shape. My eyes could feel the smoothness that my hands luxuriated in earlier in the afternoon. Laura carried all of the beauty I had ever seen in her. I held her hand lightly. The fear was crawling in my throat and I had no idea what the source was. Her fingertips never gripped tightly, which always bothered me, but on that night, I remember that they were repelled from my hand.
Really, it was the end of time. I had no future. I presume Laura felt Read the rest of this entry »