Archive for category Music
Brahms, Revisited without Tears for Today
Brahms has the twitchy fuse,
lighting me in acidic
flames and the arguments inherited
from old elephants, between piano and orchestra,
are trudging – me, I verses the world,
and I’m losing
but I’m pounding the keyboard
until I get a break, a breath, a sigh,
and I show this grace
that is un-Brahms
Brahms at his greatest,
and when the horns arrive
in red army coats, you know
victory is grasped with dirty,
dry, crisp finger nails, but it
never happens, never consummates.
I am finished, a heaping
pile of slippery dung
when Brahms is done.
And as a practicing drunk, the tears
would wilt tarnished cheeks and create heat
emanating around thorny eye sockets,
but these days are desert dry, pain layered
and hidden and only Brahms, only the
master knows, knows the truth, and now,
at least I rest, I stop, I pray, lost.
p.s. – Embedded below is the referenced piece, performed by my favorite conductor and one of my favorite pianists. The exposition of the first movement lasts 3:45, so patience is needed in waiting for the arguments between piano and orchestra. The climax/recapitulation of the first movement at about 13:20 is one of the most intense sections of music I know along with the ending of the first movement. It is immense music. The third movement is a kick ass jam if you make it that far…
Legal Notice: For Mature audiences (or immature audiences), not for those with normal sensibilities.
Every once in a while, I go back to the lab. Today, I’ve done that with lines from a live CD from the group Pigface. The creative method is inspired by John Cage, and I might say that I enjoy the results. Feel free to throw tomatoes.
Random: My Day with Pigface
0.036525 take the high ground; never look down
0.991095 divebomber big time momma
0.864649 you need love, love, love
0.479870 cursed maggot
0.498981 we come to fuck you over
0.756310 can I have a taste of your ice cream
0.609041 the king of negativity
0.837424 I don’t know what it is
0.765250 you look fucking brilliant
0.608317 eat shit, you fuckin redneck
0.624013 this is insane
0.065741 I love my city
0.942699 I’m closer to heaven when I’m with you
0.118874 your hands are shaking
0.867978 you need everything; I need you
0.170418 insect, insect, back to the subject
0.397764 can I interfere with your crisis
0.953830 now you need to make some noise for My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult
0.756494 you’re so fucking cool
0.215664 evil mothers
0.147935 guilty, guilty, guilty
0.427294 good evening, Chicago
0.501885 yeah, yeah, yeah
0.801770 one more lap around the racetrack
0.429789 I’m closer to heaven without you
0.074449 you need to make more noise than that
0.853442 blah, blah, fucking blah
0.656743 gotta get it revved up
0.606022 say a prayer for the nearly departed
0.116313 groovy man
0.444970 looking for a suspect
0.650806 that fucking shirt stinks
0.708342 your mother wouldn’t like it
0.888786 I’m gonna blow you away
0.730237 you’re so damn cool
0.172478 never underestimate the difference that you as an individual can make
0.969247 your pulsing immorality
0.624532 It’s not being careful that protects you
0.664092 this is insane
0.015381 Pigface, Pigface, going to the racetrack
0.764309 one, two, fuck you
0.249720 the grim fairies
0.901298 It’s just doing everything 110 percent that protects you
0.592134 seven things, not seven words, seven things
0.214670 you guys havin’ a good time
0.151508 oh my baby
0.823685 to make you feel beautiful
0.473398 he says he holds us in his hand
0.880704 fuck you, mind your own business
0.684005 don’t waste my time
0.402247 suck, suck, suck
0.671210 get the fuck away from me
0.126838 happy Easter
0.133125 god is here
Listening to Brahms
takes me to the good of childhood
when I longed to create art,
remembering days when I could dream freely.
I didn’t tell anyone about my dreams,
so no one laughed at me.
Now, I declare I still understand Brahms.
He speaks to me and I feel it in a deep zone.
But now I know
all I can do is spectate,
unable to communicate what’s inside.
I shiver in joy with the understatement
and simplicity of Brahms,
and the understatement of unequaled power.
I’d like to smoke cigars with Brahms
at the street café.
I’d plead for him to tell me
all he knows about music and life.
The end of the first Symphony,
much like the end of the second.
I lose myself.
I want to be lost forever.
Pulsing, tiny, in
fifteen notes, over
and over, march
of a completed
mission. Someone tell
me what I have done.
Comfort me. Hold me.
Tell me. Speak to me
about all of my
spirit and goodness.
Five fat notes scream of
muted decline. Sick
castles, large mansions,
and airplanes full of
evil. I am big,
turning purple, mush
joining rotten plums
in a chorus of
It is all nothing.
Staring at the white and
Lines and numbers,
Adding nothing to the world,
Confiscating life from Bach.
Glorious, loud earphones
Shear me from insanity.
Gently moving arpeggios
Make sense of the world’s structures.
Bach is not drowned by the
The bleakness of our world.
Yet he permeates it and
Strips away the shit.
He leads us to subtle
Victories of joy over
Concrete obstacles to love.
Yet here I sit with numbers,
Vicious lines and terrible white.
Microsoft’s blues do not soften the blows.
Steal whatever will to live Read the rest of this entry »
Eyes move in jerky, rapid jolts,
As a cat jumping through the wall,
The incessant pounding inspiring,
Head shakes madly,
What did I have for lunch?
What type of psychosis
Is hooked into my ears?)
Waving loudly and
Conducting brilliantly, Read the rest of this entry »
Momentary crash, dive, crawl, duck, hide.
Indecision on my music choice.
Surely I am lost.
Her hair, seemingly perfect,
Grazes the collar of a delicate,
Graceful, white blouse.
Her velvet eyes through the dark frames
Tell me maybe, maybe not.
How about Mozart and a laugh?
How about tiny champagne flutes
And her heels, her legs in my lap?
The clarity and beauty of Mozart.
The clarity and beauty of wild sex.
This stunning dream takes me away.
Mozart cheers and cheers.
Mozart tells me nothing matters but
My lady in the dark, sexy eyeglasses.
Mozart dances on to the next soul.
I listen to my favorite music over and over and over again. If I stand back to observe my listening patterns, I might determine that I am grotesquely obsessed and perhaps insane.
This observance has occurred repeatedly over my entire life, but yesterday morning I was a particularly harsh critic. In the car CD player (it’s an old-fashioned one that only holds one disc, which perhaps points to a laziness as explanation for what is to be described) was the Nine Black Alps CD. I saw these guys with my friend TK. TK goes to a bazillion rock and pop concerts and once in a while I tag along. We saw them in a bar for a $10 show with maybe 50 people in the crowd. They played all of the music from the CD much faster so the entire show was one big adrenaline rush. They were incredibly talented and mechanically perfect, or tight as we like to say. Afterwards, we met them and bought a CD for $7. I’ll never forget how wasted those guys were. This was after I had quit drinking so I was punch-hyped on Diet Coke, but man oh man, those guys were wasted, and I remember wondering Read the rest of this entry »
I promised I would not blab too much about music on this new blog, but I was listening to Shostakovich’s 7th Symphony today and I feel compelled to share. Sometimes I wonder why Shostakovich does not have a Bach or Mozart stature yet, but then I realize that there is probably a crazy and insane part of me that identifies with the spirituality of Shostakovich and not everyone is insane enough to pick up on that quality. Here I am, peddling Shostakovich again, or maybe I am just defending the emotional feel of leaving the real world that I get with much of his music.
The 7th starts as if someone has jerked open a door to the universe and you are able to fly above with arms spread and you feel Read the rest of this entry »